Post by torsoboy on Apr 12, 2009 1:40:15 GMT -5
So since I popped back to life and posted the Admin/vote thread, I've been reading up on all the major threads, seeing whats up. I've caught several right jabs made to my character and integrity as the once leader and creator of the forum. Nothing too terribly harsh or damning, but your words have spoken more than some of the newer members might realize. I won't cite specific instances or name names since some of the comments were made months back, and those members might not have the same fire behind those comments now.
Let me make absolutely certain that you realize I'm not upset with you guys for those comments. I deserve them. I deserve more. It's irritating to find that they weren't made in private, though, and I feel a bit alienated because of it, but I deserve them. So I'm going to lay it all out on the table for you guys. These are not excuses, these are just points that I need to let everyone analyze for themselves.
I will put them in quote brackets to better organize this post.
I'm sure there's more I can add to that list, but that's all of the points I have the steam to muster up. Do with them what you will. I still have mixed feelings about the initial comments that sparked this post, so if you are still upset with my performance, I'd like to respectfully ask that you make any negative comments toward my character in private messages.
I apologize for not remaining among you and not passing on the admin username in a timely manner. I hope that the vote for it ends up in the right hands, and that the process occurs smoothly.
Let me make absolutely certain that you realize I'm not upset with you guys for those comments. I deserve them. I deserve more. It's irritating to find that they weren't made in private, though, and I feel a bit alienated because of it, but I deserve them. So I'm going to lay it all out on the table for you guys. These are not excuses, these are just points that I need to let everyone analyze for themselves.
I will put them in quote brackets to better organize this post.
1) When I sold the GM, I was suffering financial difficulties and needed the money, but I had ethical issues with the 501st by then and so I had no reason letting it go, despite my labor and research into the costume. I chose to drop off the face of the earth as far as the 501st was concerned, and because I no longer had research to do on the costume, my attendance here wavered.
2) Since I completed the GM, I received a tremendous amount of praise for it. I still do right now even. It's utterly flattering, to be sure. That's the first thing I think whenever I receive comments and questions. Then the hail of questions came. I tried my best to answer them question by question, but it got to the point where I couldn't keep up. I tried my best to set up tutorials and post all my progress pics and info here so that, instead of answering all the questions, I could point them to those threads where the answers were all available. Then it got to the point where I couldn't even take that, so I was telling people that I no longer answer questions regarding the GM and that they should sign up here to get the answers from more up-to-date people. But they just kept coming in and I was getting responses that told me they weren't visiting the forum or they just wanted the info from me. People would track me down on other forums, private forums even, just to ask me questions about the GM. So I just shut everyone off and didn't talk GM at all. I still won't even reply to threads on certain forums regarding other people's GM stuff for fear that the bombardment would start up again. Again, it was all flattering, but I felt I provided an adequate alternative avenue for their answers and that enough was enough.
3) For months I was heading up the effort to make the Galactic Marines into their own 501st detachment. For a while I was the only one. I had the support of the forum, but in my efforts to follow protocol I was really the only one going through the motions for a while. As a result, I was the only one to take the full brunt of negative responses from the Legion command, and often times the only one to take the full brunt of harshly negative responses from CTN members regarding the breaking away of the GMs. I felt my efforts weren't getting us anywhere, and the stress of it was building up. I toppled.
4) I posted here stating that I was not going to be visiting much after the incident noted in that thread. I chose to keep the incident private, and I still wish to keep it private, but the effects of it have carried through until recently and I cite it as one of the reasons why I have not visited this forum (in addition to all other 501st forums). As a result, though, I retired from active 501st duty and have opted out of renewing lost memberships at other 501st forums. I did not see a need to pass on the admin username at this point, but nor was I thinking about it as the incident took immediate precedence in my life.
5) Shadoweclipse emailed me at some point last year. I don't recall when, and I recall responding in some manner, but I don't remember how. I seem to remember it being about forum leadership, but I don't recall specifics. I searched my gmail for the email, but I no longer have it or I can't find it, so I can't post a transcript of my response. Whatever the case, I apparently made a point to assign Shadoweclipse highest moderator priveleges. I've come to learn that I failed to follow through. It's been months, though, and I honestly don't remember what panned out.
6) Aside from Shadoweclipse' email and my failed response, and recently being contacted by another member regarding the same issue, I have not had anyone else attempt to discuss the passing of the admin on. I'm not stating this with a negative voice or any inference of irresponsibility or anything like that, I'm just stating it as a relevant fact. I have had, on occassion, briefly spoken with a few members here elsewhere (mostly through email), but nothing of forum logistics.
7) A vote for a command staff was once held in hopes of providing more capable forum leadership. The voted-in CO opted out, and Shadoweclipse (the voted-in XO) took the reins and has maintained leadership here ever since. His service should be commended. By rights I suppose he should have the admin username. However, because another member brought it up with me, I feel it should be put up to a fair vote. I chose to put it up to vote also because the admin job isn't a leadership job, it's strictly a message board logistic job, so it may or may not be what Shadow wants on his plate right now. I have informed him through private message that he is more than welcome to submit himself as a candidate.
2) Since I completed the GM, I received a tremendous amount of praise for it. I still do right now even. It's utterly flattering, to be sure. That's the first thing I think whenever I receive comments and questions. Then the hail of questions came. I tried my best to answer them question by question, but it got to the point where I couldn't keep up. I tried my best to set up tutorials and post all my progress pics and info here so that, instead of answering all the questions, I could point them to those threads where the answers were all available. Then it got to the point where I couldn't even take that, so I was telling people that I no longer answer questions regarding the GM and that they should sign up here to get the answers from more up-to-date people. But they just kept coming in and I was getting responses that told me they weren't visiting the forum or they just wanted the info from me. People would track me down on other forums, private forums even, just to ask me questions about the GM. So I just shut everyone off and didn't talk GM at all. I still won't even reply to threads on certain forums regarding other people's GM stuff for fear that the bombardment would start up again. Again, it was all flattering, but I felt I provided an adequate alternative avenue for their answers and that enough was enough.
3) For months I was heading up the effort to make the Galactic Marines into their own 501st detachment. For a while I was the only one. I had the support of the forum, but in my efforts to follow protocol I was really the only one going through the motions for a while. As a result, I was the only one to take the full brunt of negative responses from the Legion command, and often times the only one to take the full brunt of harshly negative responses from CTN members regarding the breaking away of the GMs. I felt my efforts weren't getting us anywhere, and the stress of it was building up. I toppled.
4) I posted here stating that I was not going to be visiting much after the incident noted in that thread. I chose to keep the incident private, and I still wish to keep it private, but the effects of it have carried through until recently and I cite it as one of the reasons why I have not visited this forum (in addition to all other 501st forums). As a result, though, I retired from active 501st duty and have opted out of renewing lost memberships at other 501st forums. I did not see a need to pass on the admin username at this point, but nor was I thinking about it as the incident took immediate precedence in my life.
5) Shadoweclipse emailed me at some point last year. I don't recall when, and I recall responding in some manner, but I don't remember how. I seem to remember it being about forum leadership, but I don't recall specifics. I searched my gmail for the email, but I no longer have it or I can't find it, so I can't post a transcript of my response. Whatever the case, I apparently made a point to assign Shadoweclipse highest moderator priveleges. I've come to learn that I failed to follow through. It's been months, though, and I honestly don't remember what panned out.
6) Aside from Shadoweclipse' email and my failed response, and recently being contacted by another member regarding the same issue, I have not had anyone else attempt to discuss the passing of the admin on. I'm not stating this with a negative voice or any inference of irresponsibility or anything like that, I'm just stating it as a relevant fact. I have had, on occassion, briefly spoken with a few members here elsewhere (mostly through email), but nothing of forum logistics.
7) A vote for a command staff was once held in hopes of providing more capable forum leadership. The voted-in CO opted out, and Shadoweclipse (the voted-in XO) took the reins and has maintained leadership here ever since. His service should be commended. By rights I suppose he should have the admin username. However, because another member brought it up with me, I feel it should be put up to a fair vote. I chose to put it up to vote also because the admin job isn't a leadership job, it's strictly a message board logistic job, so it may or may not be what Shadow wants on his plate right now. I have informed him through private message that he is more than welcome to submit himself as a candidate.
I'm sure there's more I can add to that list, but that's all of the points I have the steam to muster up. Do with them what you will. I still have mixed feelings about the initial comments that sparked this post, so if you are still upset with my performance, I'd like to respectfully ask that you make any negative comments toward my character in private messages.
I apologize for not remaining among you and not passing on the admin username in a timely manner. I hope that the vote for it ends up in the right hands, and that the process occurs smoothly.
